Say what you want about Virgos, but for all my perfectionism and scheduling, I have no problem throwing my hands up and going. I try to focus on the here and now and not have to go ahead of myself, which naturally has advantages and disadvantages. Words and phrases? I still hold myself up to the happiness of a new relationship when I start dating and do not stop thinking about the fact that I can meet my significant other friends and hate them.
I know I am not the only woman who has found themselves in this predicament. On the one hand, you want to cut these people out of your life because you can’t deal with them. But on the other hand, you don’t want to come between them because no one can come between you and your girls.
That being said, if you’re looking for help on how to deal with your significant other who you hate, you’ve come to the right place. With these tips, you can navigate this sticky situation better and protect your relationship and your peace. Continue to learn more.
How to manage your SO’s friends when you can’t stand them
1. Figure out what you hate about them
Some people get under your skin and that feeling makes you hate them. It happens to everyone, but it’s important to understand why you feel this way. Think about what bothers you about your friends; write a list if you have to. Maybe you don’t agree with their lifestyle, or they may remind you of someone from the past; or, maybe their vibe is off, that makes you uncomfortable.
Likewise, these friends can bring out a side of your partner that you rarely see. Maybe your partner acts differently around them or you think they are a bad influence. These are scary and negative feelings, but you may be mistaking them and putting them with your significant other when they should be with your partner.
2. Talk to significant others about your feelings
After you figure out what’s bothering you about them, sit down and have an honest conversation with your partner. Try to do this when you are in a good mood and can hear the other (read: not after a hard day’s work.). Talking about this can help you understand why your partner has these friends in their life and help them better understand where you are coming from.
When it’s time to talk, be calm and express your concerns clearly. Using phrases like “I feel like…” or starting your sentences with “I” will put the blame on you and help lower your partner’s defenses. Likewise, make sure you remind them that you want the best for them and that you are coming from a place of love.
3. Try to get to know them better
Although they say three people, take the time to hang out with your significant other and one of their friends. You can invite them to your place if you live together, meet them for coffee or drinks, etc. This will give you a chance to get to know them better, and they may surprise you a lot. In addition, your partner will act as a natural buffer, which will help reduce some of your anxiety and make you feel at ease.
Also, be sure to ask your partner ahead of time if you have anything in common with their friend. Finding something in common will make your life easier because you will be able to direct the conversation to a topic you are interested in and be able to communicate and connect.
4. Accept them and keep an open mind
Ultimately, you have to trust your partner’s decisions about who they keep in their lives, and accepting this is the best thing you can do for yourself. Learn to live with the goodness and see these friends occasionally, and enter these visions with an open mind. This will help you have a better time and protect the peace in your relationship because their presence will not annoy you.
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How to protect your relationship when you hate your SO’s friends
1. Set healthy boundaries, not limits
Your partner shouldn’t have to choose between you and their friends, and giving them an “it’s me or them” will get you into your relationship; even if you get the answer you’re looking for, your partner may resent you for forcing them to choose. Instead, talk to your friends and each other. Come to an agreement on when you both feel comfortable being around them, when it should be just the two of you, and when your partner should go alone. You have to put a good distance between yourself and those you don’t like and your partner will not sacrifice, everyone wins.
2. Encourage them to see their friends without you
If your partner cares about you and wants to make you happy, they may not push themselves and their friends. And while this is good for you now, it can backfire, and they may end up hurting you down the line. So, when their friends ask them out, encourage them to hang out with you without you. You can be with your girls all the time or engage in self-care. After all, space is good, friendship is important regardless of your relationship status.
3. Don’t give them a chance in your relationship
It’s easy to let your friends and partners live in your relationship for free but try your best not to let that happen. Of course, you should talk to your partner when something is bothering you, but other than that, don’t draw attention to them by bringing them up all the time. At the end of the day, there is a time and place to give them a chance in your relationship before you put them out of your head, move on, and live your best life, happiness and love.
