So we can all agree that we live in an age of freedom for women to date, right? I am always happy to write special recommendations and articles that explain how to talk about your desire to try spicy sex situations or movies to watch if you want to see close by a woman look. It seems like everywhere you look, we’ve taken great strides towards a sexier and more educated society, spreading the word about what “sex” really means to all partners involved. Although this progress is evident, so is the boring idea that sexuality and female pleasure are some mysterious codes that have to be broken. I mean how many times were you told growing up that men want more sex than women? Or have you ever seen a full-faced-movie-star-hunk laying down happily while his partner looks down at the bottom of the screen? Okay, I stopped counting.
Although dissatisfaction with your sex life is not unique to the female experience, “it is in women in their relationships that happiness and unfinished business are evident,” writes Kathrine Rowland, who article of the newspaper. A Good Difference: American Women and the Unfinished Sexual Revolution“… our cultural times may not be pleasant, because the vast majority of women are not satisfied with their sexual life. It would seem that we have increased the amount of sex and improve the quality sex.”
The quote you just read is from a book that quite literally changed the way I think about sex and sensuality. Today, I’m shouting from the rooftops (or my laptop) just a few of the things I learned from A Good Difference: American Women and the Unfinished Sexual Revolution by Kathrine Rowland. Yes, we are talking about the taste difference and as important, how to close it.
Katherine Rowland
A Good Difference: American Women and the Unfinished Sexual Revolution
After interviewing more than 120 women and many sexual health professionals, Katherine Rowland shares how things like education, lack of interest in scientific research, social media, long-term monogamy, and more have come to pass. so that our traditional relationship with homosexuality is problematic, as well as internal. in turn, led to an epidemic of dissatisfied women in the bedroom.
What is a happy space, exactly?
Although the book itself offers a variety of striking examples, to put it simply: Pleasure appears as a difference in orgasm between men and women, and women tend to report lower rates of overall sexual pleasure. In fact, very low indeed, and according to Rowland’s research on homosexuality, more than 90 percent of men say that they often have an orgasm during sex compared to only 50 to 70 percent of women. Her story combines the personal stories of more than 120 anonymous women, as well as interviews with scientists, researchers, advocates, and sexual health professionals, and brings us meaningful conclusions. Light: Exit Sweetness is available, but wide. I found myself wondering if the research was done among women without a head, but no smoking. “Women who sleep with women tend to be happier than women who sleep with only men, and research shows that they get high 80 percent of the time during sex,” Rowland says. .
Similar to Space, which has remained unchanged for the past 20 years, the word “Situation of Happiness” is “means to bring feelings of injustice and indifference. It suggests that orgasms are a resource that should be available—but not distributed properly”, Rowland wrote.
Although this seems very nice and dry, we know that it is not so. Pleasure Space goes deeper than comparing how many orgasms a person has. The space also refers to the natural division we experience within ourselves as humans: between mind and body, behavior and emotion, or between our external actions and our internal feelings. The ability to enter these divisions though brings us the third part of the sweet difference, which Rowland describes as being in the space between the sex we think and us. should having sex with us really desire. So… now what?
Closing the Happiness Gap: A Few Thoughts
Although this seems like a social issue – or – there are a few things we can do to start closing the distance that bothers us.
Let’s talk about what we want, and how we want it
Have you ever thanked someone for something you didn’t appreciate? Praise, a lame excuse to pass for a promotion, or a half-hearted game season? Rowland writes, “As soon as a woman begins to ask for anything – a more thoughtful sex, a proper promotion – she removes the impulse from gratitude, suppressing her desire even more. he’s trying to prove it,” Rowland wrote. We are often taught to appreciate what we have when it comes to sex and intimacy, as well as in our work and everyday life. We should be shooting for the moon instead. Encouraging the women around us to talk openly about desires, sexual experiences, and health issues is key to creating a conversation where our needs are just as important as everyone else’s and not met with rejection or judgment. .
Stop being ashamed of our desires
Ever since I discovered what sex is, there has been little shame. Whether it was my midwestern roots or my overgrown chest, something about the word “sex” made me shudder in my metaphorical shoes. In a conversation with a spirit woman named Pam who has a book, Rowland tells the same story. As women, we have been taught our whole lives to “keep it in our pants”, Pam explains, “…many women have a ‘low libido’ which is another way of saying that we and – out of our sex”. By promoting female pleasure as natural and important as male pleasure, we can encourage ourselves to prioritize what we want in the bedroom. “As long as it does not cause harm, no sexual act or desire that is considered to be indecent, extreme, dangerous, or wrong will be removed from the terrible chaos of human relations,” Rowland wrote. The truth is that our wishes are beautiful and deserve to be said.
For many of us, shame can be a part of gender equality before we even know what it is. While overcoming sexual shame is not something we can do overnight, there are some things we can do to begin to lift the narrative that has been instilled in us since childhood. For example, trying to masturbate or reading erotic books is a secret way to discover and understand your desires before you bring them into the room with your partner. If you feel stuck, sites like Better and Cosmopolitan is a good place to start.
Learning to be shy about sex doesn’t have to be done completely, either. If you are intimate with a partner you trust, ask them about their fantasies and tell them yours. Doing a new activity, playing a game, or being quiet with a partner can help you feel comfortable talking about and doing the things you’ve been hiding. As long as every action is passionate, confident, and safe, there is a world of happiness to explore in ourselves, and with partners. Another good option is to talk to a professional. A lot of sexual shyness can come from stored problems in the body and mind, and learning how to overcome those problems is the key to not being shy.
Source: @agafonova-foto | Pexels
Explain what it means to be masculine and flexible with your partner
An interesting thing is already happening in the form of popular sex, and that is the challenge that is being raised in the dominant male gaze. We constantly see media being created that look at intimacy from a woman’s experience, often encouraging people who identify with men to develop a gentler and more empathetic approach to sex as all things affect. . Studies tell us that they want to. “Men and women, regardless of age, orientation, or sexuality, clearly define sex in ways that include intimacy, communication, discovery, and orgasm”, Rowland reports on research conducted on the equality of both male and female participants. . As humans, the desire for connection through sex exists even though it has been in a harmful perspective for centuries. Encouraging dating partners to be open, flexible, and receptive to the idea of intimacy through pleasure is an uphill battle and we are only at the beginning of the battle.
Initiating this type of conversation may seem awkward, but don’t be afraid – encouragement can be tricky. When they do or say something that makes you happy, tell them. It can be as simple as noticing how much the kiss on the neck turns you on, or how the fold of your bed makes you feel loved. Appreciating intimacy wherever it comes, from the bedroom to the late-night conversation about your goals, helps create a physical connection between the physical and the emotional.
And, maybe even more important, stop faking it. We’ve all been 20 minutes into some kind of session and decided that making a few good noises would be easier than teaching them how to get you off. But when money comes into play, it may seem like it’s okay to pretend it’s not and let them know it’s just… not working. Take the time to “show and tell” your partner how much you like him. With phrases like “It feels good when you…” or “I would like to try…” you can create what you want without losing the moment of the moment. If they are the right person to be with, they will want to know (and do) exactly what you taught them.
Educate Ourselves About Sex… and All Its Aspects
There is more to sex education than abstinence, although Coach Carr might have us believe otherwise (yes, this is a feminist interpretation). One of the most important things you can do in closing the entertainment gap is to prepare for real and physical education. Collect, read, and view resources that promote acceptance and boundary-setting, focusing on your pleasure as a reason for sex—not because of it. Rowland says, “We tend, more than anything, to frame women’s bodies as subtle, fragile, or vulnerable, instead of seeking to improve the quality and quality of sexuality that makes a lot of people have problems,” Rowland says. Although the Internet is a great way to learn about anything under the sun, it is important to make sure that the information we receive is reliable. Some good places to start learning about sex online include Surprise and Approved Parent, as both sites provide the perfect tools to start your sexual health journey. If you want a book series, I can’t recommend Kathrine Rowland’s enough A Good Difference: American Women and the Unfinished Sexual Revolution enough. I also find myself constantly referring to Staging Sex by Chelsea Pace, which although originally written for people in the entertainment industry, provides a fantastic end-to-end planning tool that can be used in any case. Turning on your favorite media service is great to supplement your education, especially with shows like Netflix Sex Education and The Principle of Happiness. By reading our book about sex on another level, we will slowly take our sex life there.
Katherine Rowland
A Good Difference: American Women and the Unfinished Sexual Revolution
After interviewing more than 120 women and many sexual health professionals, Katherine Rowland shares how things like education, lack of interest in scientific research, social media, long-term monogamy, and more have come to pass. so that our traditional relationship with homosexuality is problematic, as well as internal. in turn, led to an epidemic of dissatisfied women in the bedroom.
