There is one book that I can say without a doubt that helps me in my daily life, and that is Dr. Name of Gary Chapman The Five Love Languages: Secrets to Lasting Love. But I’m not alone in this. The #1 New York Times Bestseller has been helping millions of people strengthen their relationships for over 30 years, and it never stops.
There is the first language of love. Are some love languages more expensive than others? And what happens if a person’s love language is so different from that of their partner that it is difficult for them to understand each other?
You know we love exploring compatibility around here, and the two love languages made us eager to answer these questions. We click Jennifer TeplinLCSW, Founder of Manhattan Wellness, and Laurel Housesomething eharmony relationship expert, to understand the best and most difficult love pairings so that you can know first hand what you are getting yourself into.
Jennifer Teplin, LCSW
Founder & Clinical Director of Manhattan Wellness
Jennifer Teplin is an expert in empowering women to take powerful steps to achieve their full potential. By being a trusted confidant to his clients, he is able to help them succeed with the help of an accurate, humane, solution-oriented approach.
Laurel House
eharmony Relationship Professional
As a relationship expert, Laurel helps clients express their best selves, build intimacy and communication, and even design the perfect date. He has been featured in numerous print, online, and television outlets including E! News, Good Morning America, and the Today Show.
The language of love, explained
If you’re not familiar with the concept of love languages, don’t panic. Finding your most common love language doesn’t require you to take long and annoying questions (no shade to you, enneagram). With a little self-awareness and reflection, you can decide which one is best for you after reading the details below.
Word of affirmation
A person with this love language likes it when their partner expresses their love through praise, thanks, encouragement, and more through written or spoken words. They feel that communication is the key to the safety of their relationship, so even a simple “thinking of you” text in the middle of the day or “see you later!” A sticky note left on the counter goes a long way.
Receiving gifts
Receiving gifts gets a bad reputation as the language of love, but it’s no more effective than others. If this is your love language, the gift is actually a physical representation that your partner cares about you, and that means a lot to you. When people say, “It’s an important thought,” these are the people who really mean it.
Quality Time
People who value quality time as a love language bring meaningful time with their partner. This doesn’t mean they want their partner’s presence all the time, but when they are together, they give their partner undivided attention and want the same in return.
Duty of service
If you’re the type of person who pays attention to show rather than share, social media might be your love language. Actions speak louder than words in your world, and it goes a long way when your partner does things for you without you asking, like running without time to do it. or make you dinner just because.
Body Touch
The love language of physical touch is all about receiving love through touch, closeness, and other physical sensations. People who have this as their love language should show and feel love and support through hugs, kisses, snuggling, holding hands, sex, and other skin-to-skin contact.
Emotional security
People whose love language is emotional security want to be seen and cared for by their partner. Through honest and vulnerable communication, they are able to safely reveal their true selves and feelings to the other person and ultimately, open themselves to love and be loved by another person. .
Shared experiences like love language focus on moving and expanding yourself and others. If you are eager to create memorable experiences with your significant other and feel connected as a couple, this is probably your love language.
The most compatible love language
Best relationship hugs
Although the majority of relationships are partners who have a love language, partners have more diverse love languages than ever. According to Teplin and House, these love language connections make for some of the best relationship duos.
These two are meant to represent love—whether through physical means or work. Although their symbols are different, they have an understanding. Teplin says that the key to this relationship is for each person to “avoid focusing on their own physical actions and remember their partner’s interests.”
Teplin says, “When we take the initiative to work together in a meaningful way, it often leads to deeper conversations and feelings of interest. For example, when you’re having a bad time spend time together, the closer your bond becomes, the more likely you will recognize and support each other’s endeavors, goals, etc., which in turn, helps two love languages it’s time to go back. each other.
Since these two love languages can happen at the same time, they make for a perfect (and sexy) approach. Although these couples are more dependent on the physical side of things, they are always happy and excited to be close to each other and do things for each other, regardless of the situation.
According to House, these two love languages are well suited. This is because “the person who really lets you down emotionally will also allow that person to help them by doing things for them,” (like showering and brushing your feet at the end of an emotional day mind) explains House. In that regard, someone who values emotional security “will have a deep understanding to see the needs of the loved one through the language of Service,” he added.
The duo is a given, but they are seen enjoying their time in a “bonding relationship that deepens relationships” as they enjoy their quality time. For example, cuddling together on the couch will make a Quality Time Lover very happy, but not enough for an experienced Lover. Instead, they should try a new hobby at home together, plan a trip, or make a reservation at a new hotel. These things spend more time on quality, making both parties happy.
“For some experienced people, it’s the intimate moments they share together that make them feel deeply and contented, and of course, Physical Touch people love the intimate sharing experience,” said House. explains. What makes this duo so interesting is their desire to be able to be intimate – like trying out new sex positions or trying to play games. These create an experience when you’re physically involved, so it’s a win-win for both partners.
Hugs are the strongest relationships
Although any couple with conflicting love language preferences will take more time to adjust, it does not mean they are doomed. House says that “as long as there is a dialogue to explain the ‘why’ and the ‘what’, understanding can be created, and any two people, no matter how different their love languages, can feel love. deep, see, thank, and feed him.” So if you and your partner’s love language are on this list, don’t fret. You can still have a satisfying and long-lasting relationship if you intend to make each other feel romantic.
“While one partner uses their body to express connection, the other’s preference is for verbal consent,” Teplin says. This leaves these two partners on different sides of the world in their relationship and makes them try to find a middle ground. Although agreement is key here, this couple may not feel like they are getting everything they need from each other because they are so different.
Since physical gifts and the gift of quality time are difficult to compare, “we often see partners who feel as if their partner doesn’t understand what they value,” says Teplin says. For example, a thoughtful gift is not like an unforgettable evening together.
This connection is challenging because the partner whose love language is Emotional Protection does not understand the essence of physical gifts. This is because they see it as “just something and it’s not something bought because they’re seen for who they are and what they really want,” House explains. Ultimately, they don’t find their partner (whose love language receiving gifts) often, which can make the other person feel neglected.
Although this may surprise you, this combination has visual and visual problems. Just because an emotional therapist wants to have deep and vulnerable conversations doesn’t mean they need to be with their partner all the time to have them. They don’t have to be long, they just have to be useful and that’s enough for them. But a partner whose love language is Oge Ogo may not feel like they are spending enough time with their partner – especially the tender moments that don’t involve serious conversations.
The problem with this duo is that the person doing the work usually does it alone (like eating dinner after their partner has had a long day or doing chores they don’t want to do on their own ), but that is completely. against the concept of Shared Experiences who want to do activities, projects, and events together as a way to connect and bond,” House explains. Meanwhile, when the interlocutor proposes to work together, that has no meaning in the Role of the Worker, so it is not unusual that they end up with – often misunderstand each other.
It’s no surprise that a Verbal person likes to do a lot of talking, but that doesn’t help someone whose love language is Shared Experience. According to House, “A Shared Experience wants to do, go, and experience, and the Word of consent may seem like they don’t have a conversation of depth and meaning, making them think that the relationship is high and just for fun.”
