We all know that mood is important. We grew up with at least one parent whose favorite pastime was to jab their fingers between our shoulders and remind us to stand tall (Just me? Cool, cool). We know that the position helps to ensure that the muscles work properly, and it is important for the proper structure of the joints and bones. But did you know that your condition can make or break your sex life?
Because I didn’t—and I’ve never been motivated to stand up.
After giving birth in 2021, I started following different pelvic floor therapists on Instagram. When I connected the dots between the pauses and the changes in posture, I started to pay more attention to the way my shoulders sag when I’m at my computer, or how I tilt my pelvis and lean back when I’m holding my son 30lb. . One technique I have found helpful is Jesse Truelove, a prenatal and postnatal trainer who specializes in women’s rehabilitative exercises and pelvic function. His movements and postures have helped me to remember how to move better, whether I’m at my desk or picking up the dead little boy.
So I decided to reach out to Truelove to see if he could speak directly to this connection between mood and sexual pleasure. And from what he told me, it was an unknown word. “What most people don’t think about is the tension in the pelvis and how that affects sexual pleasure and orgasms,” he explained. Read on to find out how fertility affects sex and Truelove’s best tips for improving your sex life (BTW, these tips apply to anyone with a uterus, whether you have—or intend to have—a baby).
Jesse Truelove, CPT, WFS
Head & Pelvic Health Specialist
Jesse Truelove is a pre/postnatal trainer and creator of the MomCORE app, which helps women recover from normal labor after pregnancy. She is certified in corrective exercise and pelvic floor kinesiology, and has trained thousands of women to heal their pelvic floor.
How Constancy Affects Sex
According to Truelove, when you sit all day and your pelvis collapses under you or if you tend to hold your hands while standing or walking, it can shorten the muscles in both your glutes and pelvic floor. “When this happens over a long period of time, the blood flow decreases, and we need blood flow for clitoral regeneration.” Translation: not focusing on your pelvic muscles and posture can actually affect clitoral stimulation. What’s more, Truelove adds, “We should be able to make a deal with stretch out pelvic muscles in our floor to allow access to the ability to orgasm.” Basically, poor posture can restrict the muscles in your lower carriage to the point where you can’t stretch them easily, which has the possibility of pain during sex or difficulty achieving orgasm.
Your signs and symptoms can affect your sex life
Your body’s default is to cling
One red flag that indicates that you may start to experience discomfort or chronic pain in the future (and unhealthy relationships) is when you notice that your body is Get into a position where your shoulders are rounded, head is out, and pelvis is down. , Truelove told me. My shoulders are always hunched-to the point where the surrounding environment feels like relief. My back starts to get tired if I hold a straight position. Truelove suggests it’s because my body has learned that a slouched position is my default. “Our body is very beautiful and wanted to save our energy,” he said. “Sometimes at the cost of our comfort (for a long time).”
You experience chronic stress
Sitting all day isn’t the only reason your tailbone can shift, leading to poor posture and pelvic floor function. Truelove emphasizes that “Pelvic bone stiffness in the pelvis can be a symptom of chronic stress.” “If you think about a dog that screams, it beats its tail to protect its easiest opportunity, and we do it. We throw down, catch and protect. ” It is an animal It’s wild to think how our body language works unconsciously, but it’s worth it. Our bodies are always communicating. But when we are under constant stress, our body tightens and creates tension. “The body is more connected than you might think,” says Truelove. “Even tension in the jaw translates to tension in your pelvic floor.”
It is difficult to find a stable position
Another, surprising, red flag is when you notice that it is difficult to find an upright position. “You may not be able to find a good position and (therefore) look for your next seat for relief,” Truelove says. If any of these signs make you win a little because they are is also real, I’m with you. There is good news, though, if you (like millions of us) are strapped to your chair all day and work under chronic stress, you can improve your pelvic and body alignment. you completely. Truelove assures that taking the time to identify and change your behavior in situations and even your breathing patterns can have a great positive effect on your sexual desire.
Expert advice to improve posture and support your pelvic floor
1. Breathe into your pelvis
“As you breathe in, imagine filling up the balloon that’s sitting in your pelvic floor,” Truelove explains. By breathing in such a way that you seem to push your pelvic bones away from each other, you work and stretch the deep muscles that support your pelvic muscles. “Most people breathe with their shoulders coming up to their ears, (but) this is not a deep breath,” Truelove says. Taking time out for just a few minutes at a time and breathing deeply into your pelvic floor can shape your breathing habits over time.
2. Release your glutes
We often don’t realize that we’re strengthening muscles (like clenching our jaws) when it’s an ingrained habit, but taking a few minutes to check yourself—when you’re brushing your teeth or waiting in line where – can. do everything. Truelove warns, “Turning the butt and tension can prevent blood flow in the pelvic floor area, (very good orgasms and pleasure).” And although it is a difficult habit to break, it can be done. It’s just a matter of starting to know when you’re making your muscles tense up, and then letting go.
Yes, wearing shoes can hinder your good posture. “Our feet are our foundation,” Truelove explained. “What you put them on completely affects your pelvic floor health. Sticking your toes in narrow heels or trendy athletic shoes or even flipping sends stress to the floor. your pelvis that you don’t even know about.”
If you need proof, try brushing your toes together right now. You may feel tension in your pelvic floor. Or you may feel like you’re gasping for air. It’s subtle, but it’s all connected. Does this mean it’s time to say goodbye to heels forever? Not really. “Try going barefoot more often, and choose shoes that have some form,” Truelove suggests. If you are really interested in trendy shoes that crush your toes a little, try to strive for balance. The danger is when the toes never how to splay.
FYI–You don’t need perfect conditions to have sex
When I asked what kind of situation I should shoot, Truelove reminded me to manage my expectations. “The perfect situation doesn’t exist,” he said. “We are all unique and different, and life is meant to be done in all different situations.” Different lifestyles will require slightly different conditions to support different types of movement. “With that said, arrangement important for deep breathing, pelvic floor work, and more. Problems begin to arise when we get ‘stuck’ in a situation and have trouble getting into certain situations without pain or compensation.”
The best thing to do to “raise” your posture is to focus on aligning your spine by improving your range of motion. For example, “If you lead your pelvis (when you walk) and move your upper body back, try to push your pelvis under your ribs and your head over your shoulders,” Truelove says. suggest. He admits it may feel unnatural, but that’s okay because the more awareness and practice the better. Our bodies can learn old habits over time. Short-term discomfort will lead to great physical relief in the long run (your 80s look will thank you!).
If doing it yourself seems tricky or you need a little support, consider setting goals with an exercise buddy or check out a program like Truelove. The MomCORE appwhich offers a one-week free trial, one-on-one coaching, and a community of women just like you who are all reaching the same goal.